A Few Good Men

It was a video I’d been meaning to watch. Kinda like a train wreck really. I knew from the note about it, it was gonna be about a topic I’ve harped upon with disgust and sadness really. A state of affairs I’m fed up with. I’ve given up pretty much. This is a lost cause. There is no fixing. Even as I believe that my disappointment is to wholly fixed in me, I’ve seen and been a part of enough discouraging situation to know this to be true.

Bitches Aint Shit !

This a quote from someone close to me.

The issue is with woman and what they want. Or, women who don’t appreciate what they have. Who don’t realize what is best for them. Women….They are complex creatures. They defy logic as thought out by a Man. Men think logically and women emotionally. That has to be the root of the issue. In the video (above) a wife complains that her husband is “too nice” for her. He cooks and tells her he loves her. While she offers a nod to his good qualities, she misses the point. Much to the credit of the judge here, she trys to put it into the proper perspective: “You’ve got a good man who any woman would love to have do the things he’s done for you.” and pretty much states what’s true about this woman: “Stupid” , “Selfish”, “You need to grow up.”

Why, oh why is this the case? Why do women choose to disregard what would seem to be good men and instead choose the ones who are ultimately bad for them? In queuing up this blog in my head I figured it comes down to emotions. Emotions and “Emotional Maturity” (more on this). Basically woman want some drama. They want someone interesting. Someone who will stir up emotions in them that , by nature they react to. It seems to be the logical reason. That and the fact that women have been with bad men and just are accustomed to being treated badly like a bad man can treat a woman. With little respect, selfishly and in an abusive way. When I think about it it really makes me feel sad. Sad for them and sad for the guys like myself who want to be and are, by nature good, who have to deal with these women. Women who think they know what they want but don’t really. They’re not really honest with what it is they truly want.

Two personal experiences in the past few years reflect this. I’ll try to be brief. Basically in Scenario #1 I befriended a single mom with kids who I met on an online dating site. We became friends and were very close. I’d already eliminated the idea of a romantic relationship with her based on her history and where her heart was at the time. I was very good to her. Did a number of things that any friend would do for another. Went the extra mile. When she met another guy , she chose to hide it from me perhaps thinking this would disrupt our relationship. He was truly a Bad Boy and picking up on them being together made me realize I had to decide what type of relationship we’d have. I chose to make a go of it between us. It didn’t work and ended up with us splitting up. We even went to court kinda like in the video. It was over something that now seems rather trivial but it formally ended things between us. I moved on yet appreciated the good things she did for me. But I was Textbook Good for her and that she chose someone Textbook Bad just made no sense at all.

Scenario #2 was with a woman I’d come to know for a number of years thru our online connections. We , too had a good friendship forged thru our online connections. We never met yet nonetheless shared a liking for one another. We were friends who stayed in touch with one another online and thru other means of communications. In this case I too played the role of good friend. I really adored her for who she put herself out to be and as a friend wanted to do what I could to help her be all that she could be. Nurture the Good Parts. Yet when we finally did meet in person it was a disaster! With one glance at me she quickly dismissed me and was starkly and in a bizarre way very different than the person I’d come to know and expect from our years of knowing one another. I was very quick to cut her out of my life. This could go no further. I lamented this loss and tried to fathom who she really was in blogs here. It still doesn’t all up. Sometime after this parting of the ways I noticed she wrote a blog that referenced “Emotional Maturity”. That some people lack it and gathered that this was a reference to me (and her). It made sense. This was a woman who has been twice divorced with a string of failed relationships. Something was wrong about her decision making. But from her perspective I’m sure she sees things just a bit differently.

Each case gets into the issue of Good Men and our plight. How we try to forge relationships with dysfunctional women. Now I say this understanding that just as “Bitches Aint Shit”, neither are some (many) Men. Some men are just as bad if not worse in their treatment of women. Some are shamefully bad and an embarrassment for good guys. But the lament here it that there are women who just cannot (will not) distinguish between what is Good, healthy and right for them and what is Bad, unhealthy and not appropriate for them. Some women do lack that emotional maturity to logically accept a Man, despite his shortcomings in their mind, and have what would truly be right and good for them. They get caught up in the emotions of a bad man and like it. Accept it. Even as it makes no sense. And sad thing of all is they KNOW this and they do it anyway. So nobody wins. The woman ends up with a mediocre and inconsistent guy and is quietly disappointed while a very good man sits on the sidelines wondering what’s wrong with him (and her) that she may not choose him. It’s very frustrating. I’ve only mentioned two scenarios. There are plenty more.

I say all this even as I know that not all women are like this. No indeed. There are good women out there. Women who are worthy of and appreciate all that a man can provide for them. Women who are grateful to have a good man in their lives and treat them as they deserve to be treated. Unfortunately these women are too few in existence and can be hard to find. A well-grounded woman who is comfortable with herself and willing to not allow the emotional drama to blind her from what’s best for her is a real Keeper. She gets it and when she finds a man who is good and wont fuck her over well… She’s got her Keeper. When you’re truly honest with what you want , know what it is that you want and are mature enough to accept it, even when it may not be all that you truly desire, then you’ve got that emotional maturity needed to have a healthy relationship. It should all be this easy !

My answer has been to walk the fine line of Good and Bad. Basically it’s Cocky-Funny as preached by dating guru David DeAngelo. Treat a woman like she’s totally into you and you’re just casually interested. With a cocky confidence that allows you to playfully point out her shortcomings and stir those emotions. Don’t be a dick but don’t be a wussy. Wussy behavior doesn’t get women. Cocky-Funny does. On this I’ve come to learn. Makes no logical sense but watch it in action and strangely it works like a charm. The only women who it can fail with are the “Very Beautiful” crowd. They’re so used to being approached and hit on by men that they are beyond such tactics. They see things from a different perspective. I’ve tried Cocky-Funny on my celebrity crush and stopped immediately. I don’t know her well enough to pull this off and she can surely cut me off with the click on a button. For me, with her, it’s about nurturing those good parts. I’ve said as much in the blog “The Afterglow” here on Excerpts  I think she too lacks that emotional maturity as she’s now 40 yet not married nor in any apparent relationship, which is truly odd (See the blog “I, Claudia” here as well). I’m hoping some day she “gets it” and I’m the one she figures it out with. That would be heavenly…LOL!

For now though I’m here once again shrugging over another women who doesn’t realize her dysfunction. Doesn’t realize that she can have it all and it doesn’t have to come with emotional drama that she really does crave. In fact Cocky-Funny is about creating that emotional reaction while still being good to a woman, because you cant or don’t want to be a total dick even as guys who are total dicks do get the woman. Makes no sense and yet makes plenty of sense. And all the while the good guys wonder what the fuck !? I think I now know The Game even as I hate The Game. This is what it has all come down to for me. Surely I deserve better than this…

LRJ~

Late Nites

Been awhile since I’ve been over here at WordPress.com. ‘Bout time I more familiar with my other blog. I write today at 3:48 AM from the Tastee Diner in Silver Spring, MD. I am up early for an early morning shift at the new gig (well new since I last blogged here). It’s been a change but overall a pretty good one, all things considered. it’s nice to get a check every two weeks, the folks I work with have been good and the customers are interesting. It could be worse. For now, this temporary gig fits the bill. It pays the bills. That’s what matters now.

There have been some interesting side-effects from all this. Foremost I might say is the effect the job has had on my body. To be brief: it’s like an aerobic workout every day. But aside from that I’ve been to the diner. This diner. Early in the morning awaiting a work time. It feels like NYC again. Late nights at Open-All-Night places. NYC is The City That Never Sleeps, but other places have these kinda settings. Places where you can go late at night and into the morning and have something to eat. Maybe a cup of coffee. A place for nite owls to chill. I am a Nite Owl so this place fits me. I’m kinda hooked, even as I would like to get some rest. But a job is a job so I gotta work…So I can afford to eat here more often.

LRJ~

Tales of the Swaggy P

“Who’s down with Swaggy P?! Yeah you know me!!!”

Swaggy P

Love this name. It’s cool, got a hip-hop ring to it. It’s suggestive. It just sounds right.

“Swaggy P” is the name of my Yahoo Fantasy Basketball team. I’ve mentioned this over on “The Deuce” on Blogger.com. This year I’ve taken over a Fantasy Basketball team. After the downer of a season for my Skyliners Fantasy Football team I felt like bouncing back in Basketball. I’m still quite sour over that Fantasy Football team. The best intentions….Letting a friend draft my team trusting he’d be good at it. Live and learn. That’s my boy too, it’s just annoying to not do the drafting myself….Anyway…

“Swaggy P” is a name that came from another friend’s son who hipped me to it when I was in Phila. Seems this is the moniker of Philadelphia 76er Guard Nick Young. I’ve explained this on “The Deuce” on blogger.com:

~ The Swaggy P on The Deuce~

Basically this is what Nick calls himself. My “Swaggy P” has been more a competitive, intellectual and sporting endeavor. At least that’s the way I see it. See I’ve done this “Fantasy Basketball” thing before. I had to look it up but it was in 2007 with another great Fantasy Basketball Name: “Menace 2 Society”. “Menace 2 Society” was a team I took over from scratch. It was part of a dating website’s group league. What I remember about this first foray into Fantasy Basketball was that it required much more attention than Football, had a ceiling for success, and also was an intellectual endeavor that I got too wrapped up in. I remember late in the season in the Spring of 2008 sitting at my desk pondering how I might sign Tyrus Thomas of the Chicago Bulls and how, if he played the right amount of games, might earn me some extra points. Then I had to pause, look at myself and say “What the fuck are you doing?” I was too wrapped up in this shit! And for what? What was the great reward for all this?

So I stepped away from Fantasy Basketball…

And now I’m back.

Years later but with the same desire. The challenge really. And it would be great to redeem myself with a good team. I’ve decided that I will not heavily invest myself in this like in 2007-2008. That was too much. No this time it’s more for fun. Yeah rite! I’ve had a hard time embracing the “Fast and Loose” approach I want. Nah, push comes to shove and I revert to a more cautious approach. “Better safe than Sorry”. Well something like that.

The new league was provided by a guy on a college sports message board I frequent (a lot). He stated he had openings in his league. I took him up on an offer to join. I was introduced to a 14-team league that had three absentee owners. I had my pick of teams and chose the weakest one. It was the best challenge. I was warned by my host that the league talks a lot of trash. They do. That is, the guys who play along the most. They must be in their 20’s. With team names like “The Rape Machine”, “Sex Popovich”, and “Durantis too dammed high” I knew I was dealing with another generation. They bust on each other and use a lot of profanities but it’s all good. Locker room talk. The sorts of shit 20-Somethings say to one another. I’d be alright.

My first order of business was to evaluate the team and the scoring system. Then I did what every Fantasy Owner who thinks himself a playa does….offer some (lowball) trades.

 “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

 Was my first response.

OK I’m not dealing with amateurs.

My team was 2-3 but having been unattended to, was weak. It needed an overhaul and just some TLC. I gave it both. After determining who should go I dropped the weakest players. I went to the waiver wire and got the best guys available. Smart move. Then I got lucky when one owner waived two very good players: J.J. Hickson and Grievis Vasquez. I tried to get them both but only got Hickson. Previously I picked up another find in Toronto Raptors PG Jose Calderon. Hickson and Calderon are “Moneyball” type players. Like the book and movie they’re great guys for stats. They deliver key stats that get them points and probably bely their ratings. Then I decided on how I’d play things. From 2007 I knew I could always try to overwhelm a team. Just play as many roster spots as I can, rack up points and win. On paper this works. On paper. Reality is that it doesn’t  You need quality players. I don’t have enough. I what I do have is a solid team. Top to Bottom this is a solid roster. My top guys are not the greatest but my bottom guys are better than other teams. This I don’t quite get. Some (weaker) teams have guys who are clearly low-producers yet they keep them on their roster? Bad move. Good for me though.

My team lost our first match up then won its next four. I was 6-4 going into a tough week vs. a team named “Bynum’s Knees”. The Battle vs. “Bynum’s Knees” wrapped me up all last week. Just as I feared, I was committed to winning this match-up. As the days went by I could see this would be tough. I went so far as to project roster openings for the rest of the week. I even waived a good player on my roster. I may regret this.

“Fast and Loose!” This is supposed to be fun!

I lost the Battle vs. “Bynum’s Knees” and now face two weeks vs. some serious competition. The two best teams in the league. They have over 2000 overall points each than I do. Their rosters are stocked and they’re players. I foresee two losses. It’s a long season yet I figure to dip below .500. But I’m back! The Swaggy P is in effect! I try not to let myself get too wrapped up in this but as I play along it does go to my head. I thought “I should tell the “Tales of the Swaggy P” as a journal of a Fantasy Basketball Season”. Nah. Perhaps another season. Right now I just wanna enjoy being “The Swaggy P’. The Tales will come about because of that on their own.

LRJ ~ 

Feed the Wolf

This post got a lot of views over on Blogger.com.

LRJ ~

My Three Shows

I don’t watch much network TV. In fact, of late my discovery of the show “Scandal” on ABC (see according blog: “Scandalous!”) attest to the fact that the four major networks have become secondary and passé to me. Or really now? I was introduced to three shows on the networks that are very funny. So much so I knew a blog was in order. Let’s get right to it.

First a set-up. On my flight to Dallas I had a chance to watch a string of NBC TV shows. All quirky comedies. It would seem this is the age of the “Quirky Comedy” . Shows that are offbeat and deal with people’s insecurities and unique foibles. Seeing one after the other I realize this is a sign of the times and they’re quite funny. “The Office” is the king of the shows here and seems to be the one that has set things off. I’m late to watching “The Office” but recognize it as a funny show…

So upon recommendations by a friend during the past few weeks I have been turned on to three shows. I watched them On Demand then Online and they have me laughing. The sort of funny stuff that gets you as you watch and hours later when lying in bed and reflecting on it. They’re all “Sing of the Times” deals. That is, this is the way comedy is being done now while also reflecting our culture. It’s a curious reflection on our society that is of note to me as I get older. But enough of that…My jams! The three are roughly the same, dealing with relationships between people. 20 to 30-Somethings who all have their quirks and have friends/family with their own idiosyncratic ways  Each show is on a different network but is established along the same lines. All funny in their own way of telling a story while also making social commentaries on life and relations between friends, lovers, those bonded to one another. I’ll talk about them in descending order of appeal because I realize that while I like them all, I favor one over the other.

3. Up All Night on NBC

This is a show about a 30-Something couple in LA. They were partiers who loved their single, 20’s life yet have grown up, gotten married, have a child and are settling into domesticated life. But they still have that urge and longing to be young, free-spirited and party it up (Up all Night). Their new life is a reflection of trying to be hip and cool while being that domesticated family. It’s a funny struggle. Christina Applegate from “Married with Children” and Will Arnett play the couple. Maya Rudolph from Saturday Night Live fame, plays Reagan’s (Christina Applegate) BFF, a diva TV personality/celebrity who’s single and without a TV show. The couple were her executive producers before the show was axed. Reagan has a brother who’s something of a slacker. He and (Chris) Will Arnett’s characters open a construction business. They have a dorky next door neighbor couple that are over-the-top corny yet have mastered the balance of domestic life and healthy, fun (for them) lifestyle. But it’s Chris and Reagan’s show and their chemistry is sweet. Both want to revert back to their old lives yet realize they aint young anymore. But they love one another and accept each other’s quirks while managing to figure out a healthy co-existence of their former life and their present ones. The show always seems to have a happy ending ( More on that!) and has a sweetness to it that is appealing. Here’s an example of what the show is like:

“They’re playing “The Game of Life” in realtime.” Bwahhahhhahhhaaa!

 2. The New Girl on FOX

“The New Girl” (Jess) is about a 20-Something girl living in LA. She’s a teacher who has her own insecurities and quirks. She lives in a loft with three guys. Watching one show I realize it’s kinda like a Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz this pairing. The three dudes are all different yet funny and cool in their own way. As a foursome they have a nice dynamic of friendship that carries them thru the show. It appears they were all college friends who decided to live in a downtown LA loft. The standout of the group is a playboy metro sexual dude who’s Jewish (Schmidt). He sounds kinda gay but surely is not. He’s a playa and seems to be a bit conservative (One episode when Jess confides she’s been laid off from her job he blurts out in anger “Obama” ~ Funny!!!) Schmidt is a character and is also in love with the 5^th member of the friend-group CeCe She’s a rather attractive Indian (from India) chick who is a nice down-to-earth girl who just isn’t into him but wants to be friends with him (Damn if I don’t know that). The other guy is Nick, who’s pretty much your regular white guy. He’s a writer who bartends yet is broke and struggling in LA. He’s a good guy who Jess seems to have the closest relationship with. They are buds. Nick has a stripper girlfriend. She’s good-looking and fearless. The type who loves to do anything she feels like and is very sexual. A great character. He has had some trouble adjusting to this personality type but as of now, gets it. Third guy is Winston the (token) black guy. He’s just kinda there. Has a part in things but not quite a developed and played out as a character (or maybe that’s me noticing?). Winston may be from Lafayette,Louisiana because of a reference I heard. Winston also works late night as a sports radio talk-show host. He sings drunk karaoke and can get drunk on fruity, girly drinks. He’s got a soft side for bubble baths but isn’t gay. LOL! The group has a nice dynamic, the four guys being “Guys” while Jess fits in as an everyday girl who blends within the group , kinda like a girl who has brothers as siblings. They all get along really well and look out for one another. It’s caring and personal kinda like how college friends get along. This episode for Christmas tend to capture what they’re all about. It’s very funny (to me at least):

1. Happy Endings on ABC

This show has turned into my favorite. Like “The New Girl” it features a cast of friends. This group is made up of six people grouped into 3 pairs. They are in their late 20’s-early 30’s and at different stages in their lives. They’re all good friends who live in Chicago. What makes this show great is the writing as well as the actors. They are both a cut above. Makes for some great stuff and the sort of comedy that does leave me laughing hours later. The group tends to revolve around Alex (Elisha Cuthbert from “24” the TV show) and Dave. They are a couple that have reunited after Alex left Dave at the altar on their wedding day. They came together in part to preserve the group’s friendship. They are now forging a new relationship that seems to be working. Cuthbert, btw, is a white girl with some soul. She’s made me a fan of her (that and her healthy rack for a girl her size). The other pairs are funnier and tend to make the show (for me at least). Jane and Brad are an (interracial) couple. The interracialty really isn’t an issue at all here (nice) but more of a curious sign of the times. But the couple is great. Jane is Alex’s sister and is played by a girl who just has “It”. A real sense for being comical. Between her expressions and facial and physical acting she’s a real talent. She plays Jane’s controlling yuppie sister. You know greatness when you see it and she’s got talent. Yes indeed! Brad is played by Damon Wayans Jr. This is kinda creepy. Jr. is exactly like his father. I mean EXACTLY! It’s like Pop never grew up! It’s eerie. And Jr. is funny like his Dad. Same comic strengths. The yuppie couple are great together with a genuine love for one another. A couple of the funnier lines: Brad talking about one girl “She’s so whack her first name should be Knick, Knack , Patty” and Brad on his grandmom’s reaction to his wife “She calls her “Cocaine”, white , skinny and a scourge to the black community”. Hilarious! The third pair is Max and Penny. Max is a gay, Jewish guy who is BFF with Penny, a klutzy, fag hag who’s weird (eccentric) and searching for a relationship (but is in one now). Both actors are also very gifted in comedy. Max, as Penny describes him, is “A straight guy who likes to have sex with men”. He plays the gay role in a funny way in which gay men probably like and appreciate with a lot of that social commentary of homosexuality played in for laughs. Penny is just funny in her sad-sack slapstick humor. Not quite as funny an actress as Jane, but in a different way, Penny is a trip nonetheless. She’s wants to be in a relationship yet seems to sabotage her relations with her own quirks. Funny thing about her is that she always seems to hit her head (a cut away to the numerous incidents was hilarious!). Max and Penny’s relationship is cute and funny and certainly appeals to gay men and the women who love them. Overall the group is great together. They respect yet bust on each other like only close friends can. They do things together and by being together show their quirks and insecurities. Yet they all get along in the end (Happy Endings). There are a number of really funny episodes: The one where they see their old “Real World Sacramento” tapes, their Thanksgiving and Christmas/Birthday Day was great too. The pilot episode sets the tone for things and you can see the greatness here. Jane at the restaurant telling the waitress to replace her water with vodka then being busted on it was laugh-my-ass-off-funny! Overall it’s just a great show and I seek to watch it when I can online. Here’s the pilot episode.

So I got my shows. My Three Shows. Kinda like the old TV show “My Three Sons”. Well not quite, but the pun is there. Funny! Kinda like these shows….Brings a smile to my face. It’s great to find great comedy on network TV still.

Bravo !

LRJ ~

A Nun Walks Into A Bar…

Classic !

~ Random Musings ~

We’re approaching the end of the year. Soon 2012 will be in the books. It’s the holiday season. Christmas is upon us. How do I feel about that? Blah. Really. Blah. It doesn’t feel like Christmas and as such I am not in the spirit. A lot has happened to take my mind off the holiday season but to be honest it’s been this way for years now. To me, Christmas is just another holiday. A hyped and anticipated one, but just another period. I like the time between Christmas and New Year’s. The best time of the year. Things are relaxed. It’s not nearly as cold as it will get when were fully into winter. People are not working or working not as hard as they usually do. Plenty of Football games to keep one preoccupied. I’m just gonna go with it. Ah sweet freedom!

~

I watched a movie over the weekend. Didn’t catch the name of it, but it was one of those body-switch movies. Two lifelong friends switch lives. One is a bachelor living the single life while the other is a happily married family guy. As they switch they both begin to appreciate the good and the bad involved in their new lives. It resonated some. I, of course, sympathized and associated with the single guy both playing the role as family man and as with the single life lived by the family guy. This dynamic is real to me in that I see it both in the people I know today. My friends and peers who are at both stages. I realize being single has it’s great perks, esp. the freedom. But family life is not something to shun. It has it’s own rewards. It’s something I don’t think you realize until you live it. Like a lot of things, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” I wonder for myself…What I may be like had I been a family man now? It’s cringe-worthy for me now but who’s to say this isn’t the best thing for me? I’ve had a taste of it and it does have it’s own rewards. Surely there must be a happy medium?

~

Talking to a well-respected guy I know he brought up a hypothetical question to me.

“What would you do to make the world a better place?”

He gave me a moment to think. Not about some fantasy answer that provided an unrealistic scenario…No something real that could very well happen. My answer was that I felt that everyone who’s ever been falsely imprisoned should be set free. I think of guys today who are being freed after years in jail when evidence showed they were innocent. What a nightmare! The guy surmised that I had a sense of fairness. That fairness was important to me. It is. He countered with another thought-provoking answer:

“People should not get something for nothing.”

The idea is that people should give to get. There should be no free rides. It’s a recipe for disaster. I had to agree. Weeks beforehand I had seen a video by a self-help guru who said just as much. The world is made up of “Givers” and “Takers”. Those who take what is given to them and those who provide for others. He said of the “Takers” that they were stealing. Providing nothing while expecting everything. I , too agreed. My guy felt that no one should get anything without producing something back in kind. I like that idea. It’s Karma really. You get what you put out in the world. It’s true to me and I think that is what I wish upon those who have been both good to me and bad to me. Get what you deserve. That is the best reward/revenge.

~

This weekend my celebrity crush spent time down in Miami with her BFF. I adore them both, the BFF more and more than the crush. They look amazing together. I told them they look like sisters and they now use that line (some credit please!). It brought back a memory of a birthday I had when I banged these two chicks in a hotel room. My present to myself. I had a good time and checked off a line item on the bucket list. But I remember it was draining. Two women at once in what wasn’t quite a threesome is exhausting. Takes a lot of stamina and self-control. As much as I liked doing it I realized this isn’t for me. Well not quite like that! Of course I referenced that experience to these two hotties. I seriously doubt I could have that scenario happen with them, but one can dream. Actually I think I’d just as well call it a Life after that. Just head to the afterlife with a pleasant memory. It’s the ultimate guy fantasy and something that has put a sly smile on my face of late.

~

Had an interesting encounter last week as well. I bought something from Walmart and got cash back in the transaction. I don’t usually do this but I didn’t have any cash on me. A new $20 bill. Something told me ,as I walked past a bank, “Break this bill!” I didn’t. Instead I stopped by a liquor store and, after scouring the beers, chose a cheap beer to drink. The guy gave me change and, after checking my $450 million dollar Powerball ticket, left. I didn’t win…LOL! But when I got home realized the clerk shorted me $5 in change. I faced a question” Get back up and get my change or just let it slide?” The movie “Red Tails” was on and it was interesting. I decided to go back and get the change. I did so with a thought in my head….I went in and a pretty Asian woman explained things. Basically she said “No”. I was understanding. I didn’t make a scene nor try to negotiate. Instead I politely accepted her answer and left. Part of me felt like arguing (The Philly side) and part of me said “Let it go”. Walking back I knew this could be the case and I knew that despite the error it was my fault for not counting my change nor changing it at a bank. I had a mixed feeling. Part felt “less-manly” for not standing up for myself and part felt righteous for realizing the error and being mature enough to deal with my own fuck-up. I let it go and pretty much forgot about it. “God will provide for me something in return for this” is what I thought. I think that’s what being a Man is really about. Admitting your mistakes and taking them in stride. Still the proper thing for them to do would have been to reimburse me or let me have something equal to the $5 they know they shorted me on. I’ve let it go and I feel like a better person for doing so.

~

Last is this…

The Black Architecture Group I’m a part of has been strangely silent of late. No real news even as we approach the end of the year. It’s significant because the current President is about to end his last term of office as per the bylaws. We also have a Christmas party coming up. I’ve heard little about either situation and I have to wonder…WTF!? Part of it is that I’ve been MIA for weeks now. I still stay in touch but am not present in things. Still I’m surprised no one wants to keep me in the loop. I think I know why. It’s because all year I didn’t pay my dues. It almost cost us a coveted award. But I’m the First Vice-President and the only one who seemed committed to keeping us connected via social media. I’m also the most senior person in the group. I could run things and have now decided I don’t want to. Not because of this, but because I think my interest are best served in a group that will better help me personally than this one can. It’s just the better deal for me professionally. But the snub is stupid really. As much help this group needs in doing what they aspire to do, you just don’t dismiss those who can and will help you. It’s left me somewhat dumbfounded, hence I choose to keep my distance. My value to the group will become more apparent in my absence. In fact it sets the stage for a glorious return. The group isn’t living up to it’s potential. I have a plan to make it do just that. If I can come in when they’re down and turn things around, my impact will be exponentially bigger and better. So I play a political card and step back and wait to come in and do things the right way. It feels weird but it’s the right play. The blah to end 2012 can lead to the excitement and thrills of 2013. Maybe that’s the real reason why I just sit back and wait? How clever J

LRJ ~

Scandalous !

I woke up today and addressed a moral issue. One played out in a TV show I’d come to watch. It’s good stuff. Juicy storylines and a premise that is quite interesting. I picked up on the buzz over the show thru Internet chatter. I kinda knew what it was all about so I decided to tune in. A couple weeks have passed and I’m catching up on the show. It’s Scandalous. Hence the name of the show: ABC’s “Scandal”.

The show is about a woman who is a “fixer”. She and her crew clean up the mess that high profile, public figures  make when they do things that can ruin their careers, reputation and lives. She’s also a woman who’s having an affair with the President of the United States. Seems they were GF-BF’s before he got elected and they just can’t get over one another. Their affair is saucy stuff. Real juicy and filled with plenty of romance and true love. These two really do love one another even as they struggle to carry our their affair and forge a relationship. They do this and, oh by the way, she’s black and he’s white. Not that it matters but it kinda does.

The buzz I’ve picked up on is real. (Black) women love this show! I think they can relate to Kerry Washington’s character, a black professional woman like themselves or someone they know who wants to be in a relationship with a man she loves who also loves her. I get that. But the premise of the show had me dismiss something about it that I should be more upset about. It’s a show that is glorifying infidelity. Yes, this is a show that condones cheating. There has to be something wrong about that, right? I got caught up in the romance and true love involved and missed out on the situation at hand. These people are having an affair!

The reactions to the show have resonated on Facebook thru a secret group I am a part of. It’s a group for black men where we discuss any and every issue that comes up. It’s like Internet barbershop talk played out on a Facebook Wall. It’s “No hold’s Barred” and can get quite provocative and deep. After the latest episode of “Scandal” one guy posted a message about how folks felt about the premise. It was more about this:

What If….The “fixer” in the show was a black man and the President was white? Or more to his point….What If the President was black and the “fixer” were white?

I commented that the show wasn’t about race as much as it is about “Romance” and I corrected myself, “True Love”. Another guy chimed in supporting the original writer of the post stating that “ If sistas saw a black president having an affair with a white woman on TV like this they’d be trippin!!!!” They both went on about how they posed this question to women who didn’t want to hear it. They loved the show and didn’t want to think about the moral issue. Apparently both guys got a fiery reaction. I’m not surprised. (Black) men can be dogs and here was a turn-about of sorts. How dare we question this? LOL ! A double-standard that had both dudes perplexed and a bit angry.

I get it even as I don’t like it. The show is about sex, male-female relationships, love and to a certain extent race. But after posting messages today I found myself asking: “ Where’s the moral outrage?!” Why isn’t anyone upset that this is a show about two people having an affair? Is this the sort of thing we in the (black) community want to promote and celebrate? One of our prized women , fictionalized who is in love and engaged in a Scandalous relationship with a man who happens to be powerful and white? I all of a sudden had to check my moral compass. Something here is out of whack with what we should really believe.

I do get I though. Women love Romance and True Love. They love juicy stories, intrigue and the ideal of trying to craft a relationship with their ideal man. It transcends race. I didn’t want to engage the race issue either. Actually it doesn’t bother me that much. Nor does the sub-plot involving a loving gay relationship between the White House Press Secretary and his husband a political reporter. Some time ago I’d responded to a blog from a woman I knew thru our online communications. She wrote about interracial relationships (I believe it was called “Interracial Dater Hater”?)  I suggested that some (black) men might be put off by her dating white guys because they feel like she should only date within her race. This struck a nerve with her. It was about “who they are and how they treat me” was basically her point. I didn’t want to go much further with this hot button topic so I let it go. I also would scope from her that she was really into white guys. I thought it was because of the Circumstances of where she lived and who she socialized with but after seeing and reading some things realized she just likes white guys. No harm, no foul. The show put the racial aspect in check in the last episode. The president had one line “ This isn’t a Thomas Jefferson-Sally Hennings thing…I love you.” Nuff said.

But the moral issue is what I harp on in my head now. Dudes had a point and a reason to be irked. Not only is “one of our own” with a white guy but our women are OK with this and seems to resent being put in check about their feelings. It’s hypocritical and ironic and says a lot about the State of Mind of the Black Woman. I wonder too about that. The women who is the producer of the show is named Shondra. She’s gotta be black. What makes her want to put forth this premise, glorify cheating and infidelity under the circumstance of an attractive black women who could really be with any (black) man? And there is such a character in the show….an ex. who adores her who once lived with her and who really wants to be in a relationship with her. He knows the deal about her and the President yet he still wants her. Poor guy. Doesn’t the realize nice guys don’t win? It kinda fits into the dynamic of the show because there are some things about this program that are not credible or plausible. A real stretch but hey it’s entertainment, it has that poetic license.

So I’ll watch. Yep, after all that. Love Conquers All I guess you could say? But in doing so it tugs at our moral fiber and causes us to be blinded from our better judgment. But its oh so juicy…..It’s Scandalous ! Maybe that’s the real Art and message of the show? Imagine that?

LRJ ~

On Any Given Sunday

This past weekend I had an experience I really enjoyed. I wish I’d done this sooner. I wish I knew it would be like this. Even though I didn’t win, I found a place that was right up my alley. A new hobby maybe? More like a new diversion. Something that appeals to what I like.

Sunday I had a chance to travel to Delaware to the Delaware Racing, Casino and Slots….or whatever the full title of the place is. A friend of mine was taking a golf lesson and I would wait him out by going to the casino. Casinos now being just about everywhere this was no big deal. I was curious to see what a casino/race track was like, never having been to a racetrack. But the real appeal here wasn’t the slots; it was the chance to bet on football games. Sports Betting. Right up my alley. I like sports. Like my father, I like to guess on who will win via the point spread. He would have loved this place.

I got dropped off at the track and walked thru the slots area. Basically this is like a mini-casino. It’s like a smaller version of what you’d see in Atlantic City. But make no mistake, it is a casino. During the day I played the slots and won a little. I played some blackjack and lost. Overall I was in the hole $50.00 between gambling losses and food. But on this day my real interests was in betting on the games. Let the games begin…..

I make my way to the sports betting area. I feel like a virgin who’s about to get laid for the first time. Nervous yet excited and not knowing quite what to expect but knowing it’s gonna be good. The sports betting area is what I expected. A large hall with lots of TV screens, tables to sit at and a long line to place your bets. A large digital screen displays the betting lines. I see the long line to place bets and moan. I don’t even know how to go about this. I pause, gather myself and then scoop up one of the many forms lying around. It’s a Parlay Bet. Just what I need. A rectangular piece of paper with all the NFL games with the spread for each. There are other bets you can make. Teasers, Super Teasers even a $100,000.00 bet sheet. I keep it simple. The Parlay Bet allows for a number of bets. Minimum is three games with a minimum bet of $1 and a max of $1,000.00.  I quickly glance the sheet to pick my games. I am excited yet challenged on my football knowledge. I want to make the winning picks based on what I know. After choosing my games I head to the long line. Then a dude says to anyone listening “You know you can go to the third floor and bet!” I listen and head up the escalator.

The third floor has fewer people for sure. The line is considerably shorter to bet. I glance the space. It’s smaller but with more TV’s, guys are sitting around round tables filling out multiple cards. It’s like a Sports Bar really. An eclectic mix of people all here to watch the games and bet. In fact I’m overdressed. It was casual day at church and I still have a suit jacket and khakis on. I sheepishly get in line and like a fucking virgin coyly state it’s my first time betting , how do I do this. The man who takes my bet is nice and fills in the lines I wasn’t sure to do. I feel like a douche. I bet four games. I put $5 on them. $5 to win $50. I like those odds. Four is my favorite number and I know sports. I can win this!

A look around the room has me searching for a couple things: 1) a nice place to sit 2) food. This being like a sports bar I expect the same kinda food. They have that. I notice the menu is limited and there is no hard alcohol. OK fair enough. Beer and Football go together. Football and liquor with money on the line leads to violence. I find a nice open table away from a main bank of TV’s. I’m good though. I can see what I need to see. My bets? I have:

Patriots -11-1/2 over the Bills

Broncos -4-1/2 over the Panthers

Seahawks -6-1/2 over the Jets

49ers -11-1/2 over the Rams

I feel pretty good about my picks. Of course nothing is assured. Even for someone who is knowledgeable like me, I know that NFL games are really unpredictable. The phrase “ On Any Given Sunday” applies. On Any Given Sunday a team can win. Team A can beat Team B. Even if Team B is the best team in the league and Team A the worst, On Any Given Sunday any NFL team can win. It’s what makes the NFL such an event. Anyone can win. It’s also what fuels betting. As much as I know and can give sound and solid reasons to believe I’m right, you just can’t predict who will win. Well there are some games you know and other you don’t you just don’t. But there’s a huge X-Factor involved. There is no formula to predict who will win. Despite all evidence it doesn’t exist. That’s why sport betting thrives.

The games kick–off and my excitement is mixed with an uncomfortable seriousness. I want to enjoy the early games but with money on the line, shit just got real. The Pats-Bills and Broncos-Panthers are first. I ditch any notion of rooting for fantasy football players with money on the line. I’m about winning $50. My area is served by one lone waitress. She’s a sista with a solid body. She’s built and kinda cute. I feel for her. It’s gotta be hard to work all these tables. I learn as such when she gives me the wrong beer. I don’t complain. I juts drink it. They all cost the same.

I order chicken tenders and fries with that beer. While waiting I have an eye on the games. The sound is on for only one of the four or five games on the largest bank of TV’s. It’s the Ravens-Raiders game. There are a few Ravens fans. Oddly enough there isn’t a real boisterous following like I’d expect. Yeah some people cheer but it’s strangely quieter than I’d expect. I think it’s because people do have money on the line. Fan allegiance tends to go out the window. My two games begin to unfold. The Patriots have jumped out to a good lead on Buffalo. It’s 17-7 and while it’s not a cover margin I feel pretty good. The Broncos-Panthers I worry about. It’s 7-7 and Carolina looks like they’re up for the game. It’s in Charlotte and they’re dressed in all-black. Uh oh! My concern is for naught. The Broncos take the lead and build on it. What looked like a close game becomes a blowout. The Broncos are comfortably ahead 24-7. No worries. Meanwhile the game I thought was a gimmie is far from it. The Bills have come to play! They match New England score for score and while they trail, they’re within the 11-1/2 point-spread. Not good. I know New England’s defense is shaky. This is a concern. I need them to make a big stop and have Tom Brady and Co. pull away from these upstarts. I decide to go play the slots. Maybe I can win some more?

I return to find the Patriots-Bills game looking bad in my favor. The Bills are keeping it close. Too close. Close enough that they might take a lead *Fuck!* if the Pats don’t pull away. I decide to go play the slots and blackjack then return to the main sport hall on the first floor where I witness the bad news. There’s almost a minute left and its 37-31 Patriots with the Bills driving. I just need the Patriots to get the ball and score! My money is riding on the Pats. What the fuck !!!!??? It doesn’t go my way. The Bills throw in INT to end their chances. Right in the end zone with :27 seconds or so left. The Patriots line up in the Victory Formation and I’m done. Bet Busted. Patriots 37-Bills 31 but at -11-1/2 the Bills might as well have won. I lose. That’s for sure.

The other two games I follow for pride. “Hey I was 3-1!” I could say. LOL! Mixed results here. The Rams are giving the 49ers a game. They have also knocked out their starting QB. At -11-1/2 points this bet looks doomed too. The Jets are bumbling and the Seahawks take advantage. I knew the Seahawks would cover. I assume they did. I don’t even bother to check. Who cares now that I don’t have money on the game? Meanwhile the 49ers-Rams game gets very interesting. The Rams are playing them close. It ends up in a tie. A tie in an NFL game is rare, yet it happens. On Any Given Sunday anything can happen.

My first foray into Sports Betting is fun. Sure I lost but I enjoy the excitement and anticipation of it all. It’s a thrill. During the whole time I think; “This is what Vegas must be like.” I will have to go out there sometime. On Any Given Sunday.

LRJ ~

Fear of a Romney-Ryan Presidency

We’re less than a week away from the Presidential Election of 2012 and I admit to being a bit nervous. President Obama, who once had a comfortable lead in the polls, is now running neck-and-neck with presidential challenger Mitt Romney. The race turned after Debate #1 where a surprisingly focused Mitt Romney challenged a surprisingly lethargic Barak Obama. Romney won the debate and momentum shifted his way. Three other debates were more about catch-up and counter the Romney first assault. Obama and Biden won but the damage had been done. The country, polarized already along political lines, has drawn more focus of the failing of the President and the hopefulness of the challenger who is saying all the right things. This scares me. More and more.

Having seen and heard Mitt Romney and his party talk with their agenda for the country this is a chilling prospect. President Mitt Romney could throw this country into the dark ages. It will certainly steer retro. As President Obama has said, Romney’s policies are from the ‘50’s, the 20’s they’re a generation or so passé. Their based on some warped notion of what America was and is and should be…According to Mitt and his supporters. About half the countries who want to buy into the GOP line of thinking, stoked by the horribly biased news media known as Fox News and inflated by Super PAC money to push the agenda. The hefty budget assures that Mitt’s BS will be broadcast, televised and pumped onto media constantly as the days lead up to Election Day. At no time do I recall such disgust for Politics. It would seem that the choice here is obvious.

Barack Obama

Really now. Is it that much of a debate?

On the one hand you have a challenger who is a flip-flopper. A master bullshiter. A guy whose GOP competitors have admitted to saying will say anything to get elected. Mitt has no firm stance, it seems. He drifts with the wind at the time, speaking to appeal to those who want to hear his rhetoric. But Mitt’s been caught. On tape he admits he doesnt care about 47% of the country. His running-mate Paul Ryan says 30% are, basically freeloaders who feel they are entitled to what the government can provide. Mitt’s vision of America is from that of a businessman who will fix the economy with fuzzy math. A recovery plan that doesn’t have math that adds up. He wants to increase military spending, cut government and trust the individual States for social services, yet he doesn’t want to tax the rich or middle-class. Economists state that you just can’t have it that way. Yet Mitt sells this BS to people who want to believe it. Worse is Mitt’s conservative agenda that barely recognizes women in relation to President Obama. His stance on Abortion, something he’s flip-flopped on, is a real concern to women. He’ll seek to make it illegal. Just as he’ll repeal Obamacare. Mitt wants to do what his predecessor George W. Bush did economically that got us in this mess in the first place while taking us down a social road that will tea the country apart. And overseas, forget it….he didn’t acknowledge the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan during the GOP convention and has managed to piss off England, Russia and one other country I forgot about. He’s ignorant, reckless and callous. He doesn’t care about the American people except for what he thinks is good for us all. His conservative way of life for America. We’re not the country we were a generation or so ago. Someone needs to get the GOP to appreciate that. We’re a great nation but we have to be willing to work for the good of ALL…not just those who agree with our visions of what is good and right.

President Obama, on the other hand gets it. He really is a man of the people. Brought up in a middle-class home, with a strong mother, used education to get ahead, worked for social causes…He’s just a good person. He’s practically squeaky clean with a model family. You really couldn’t create a much better guy to be a president…and oh yeah, he just happens to be black. Obama has done what he could with the mess he’s inherited from George Bush. And what he’s done is certainly noteworthy: Private sector jobs have steadily risen. He has halted the economic downturn we were in (worse since the Great Depression). He bailed out the Auto Industry, removed troops from Iraq, and signed a healthcare act that gets health coverage to millions of people who wouldn’t have it otherwise. He’s made fair pay the law for women in the workplace. He’s killed Osama bin Laden and has a sound plan to reduce the deficit. It’s simple. Get everyone to pay their fair share of taxes. Is that too much to ask? Maybe for Mitt Romney who won’t reveal his taxes and is known to have money in banks in the Cayman Island. It’s like one woman from Eastern Europe told me. She said: “I like President Obama…He cares about the people.”

And that’s it. He cares. He cares about the people and the country. He wants us to be better ,get better, have cleaner air, better schools, improved roads and bridges, good-paying jobs in industries that are merging and competitive in the world. He believes in the people and what they can do and he wants to help and protect us all. I don’t get the sense that Mitt Romney feels that way at all. The differences are self-evident and the choice (to me is crystal-clear).

I read an article, of which I lost the link for that described my disillusionment with the 2012 Election. In it, it touched on a number of good points that capsulized how I feel about things. And I came away fearful of a Romney-Ryan Presidency. It’s the type of pairing that will rip at our country, I think. Challenging our economy, tearing at our finances, pushing us to the brink of some kinda armed conflict overseas while tearing us apart internally as we struggle with social issues and civil rights. Yes we survived eight years of George W. Bush but this is just as bad. I guy who’s all over the place yet not firming sound on what he wants to be, say or do…not really being well versed on anything and out of touch with that 47% of America. I fear Mitt’s Best Intentions. He may well have Best Intentions for the USA but in this case I think they will take us to the road to Hell. So I cringe for the Election and hope and pray that sound judgment and reason will prevail. That the American people will the bullshiter for who he is and the visionary for what he can do to keep us on the path to improvement.

It’s really that simple people.

LRJ ~